There was a guy here, I’ll call him Dudley. Dudley was an ex-US Army Engineer and had the in-your-face attitude to match such a story. He seemed to have a lot of confidence, and expressed this a variety of ways, most of them by picking on his fellow guards. I’m not going to get into the new-age crap about self esteem and picking on people, as frankly he thought a lot of himself. Maybe too much.

Yeah so he quit/was fired/used up his short allotment any guard has at most sites these days, and all his supporters got inconveniently shit-canned after him over the next month. Most of his victims are in senior positions now and were explaining how bad he was to a new guy. Naturally, I can’t keep my mouth shut after hearing, “Yeah: if you couldn’t stand up for yourself or were at all weak, he’d be all over you. He’d pick on you endlessly.”

While Dudley wasn’t super-guard he wasn’t Attila the Hun as these poor unfortunates were making him out to be. So, what do I say? Remember, I’m not as creative as Erik or eloquent as Greg, so I add my $0.02, “Maybe that was the signal it’s time to get a set of balls.” Teddy picked on me as a kid. As did a pile of kids in grade school. Way too late I learned in Junior High that all I really needed to do was hit back. Not go psycho and shoot the fucking school up, just call their sexuality into question as often as they did and come back with a golf club (4 par maximum) if they ever had the gall to touch me. By grade 9 they’d learned that Mike’s not worth it; Especially since I’d let things cool down and get even a couple months later.

But I digress. Dudley was the same, if you bit back, it would eventually turn into a kind of banter. Dudley’s victims best reply to my turning around and pointing this out with a little venomous retort was to become silent, shrug without eye contact, and kinda drizzle from the control room. Not even a “Nuh-uh!” Guards these days can’t even whine right.

And it’s easy to see, well defined and can be summarised using the following statement: If you’re too ill to work, don’t come in because not only will you be a burden to your fellow staff, you risk passing on your illness to them.

There’s two major contributing factors to Security Guards at my workplace showing up sick as dogs when they should be recovering. As contract staff paid by the hour, losing a day or two can means losing out on 8-24 hours pay, and in the case of some of these poor saps that’s rent missed or dog food until they’ve caught up. Having enough financial balance when I was guard, I never had an issue with taking a day off. Heck, I even took stress days if I felt the weekend wasn’t long enough. A lot of guards can’t afford that and I sympathise.

However, the guard that’s currently vomiting beside me and most of the other staff of Billy-Joe-Ray-Bob-Bill’s Security Service and Tire Care are simply stupid. They think they’re impressing their fellows by making them relieve them every 45 minutes so they can so puke. All the while they’re at 50% efficiency and because they’re so tired and sick they can’t concentrate. Worse then them being useless, if their afflication is contagious others are at risk. The Norwalk Virus tore through work three fucking times because guards really thought we’d be better off with a yakking, shitting, moaning, crying fuckwit spending their shift in the bathroom contaminating the whole fucking site.

Deep Breath Mike…

I tell every sick guard, “If you get me sick: I’m having you transferred off site. I’m your client, I can make it happen!” The guard that gave me Norwalk got canned for spreading it around, although I only ever gave her the warning, management just happened to feel the same way I did. Management does not notice these sacrifices, and dispatch/the guard’s company does not learn if they don’t get in trouble for not filling empty shifts.

Sticking to the DASH Diet has been trying, for sure. The change in energy and healthiness has made staying on vegetables (raw, sliced peppers are a new favourite of mine) and lighter foods easy; As anytime I crack and have something greasy I regret within minutes. My caffeine and sugar intake is way down: Caffeine is one tea in the morning and Dr. Pepper when out with the guys on Saturdays.

This last weekend at Allister’s I let go a bit more and split a couple cases of Pepsi and pizza with the guys at his place. Today, the resulting heartburn answers the questions of where it came from way before the diet, and why it went away since the diet started. Funny how pain can be a deterrent, eh?

I’m sure this.

has nothing to do with

this.

Of course not…

From one seral killer to another: If you’re going to kill a bunch of hookers and feed their remains to pigs.

Try not to look like a guy who kills hookers and feeds them to pigs!

I want to believe this is the coolest judge in the world playing a sarcastic joke.

Apparently he said in his suicide note He didn’t want to be a burden to anybody. You know what, Bob? Killing 8 people is pretty burdensome, you pathetic fuckwit.

My condolences to the victims and their families.

My pre-emptive finger to the re-opening of the “Gun Are Satan’s Jizz” argument. I’ll say this then be done: Getting rid of guns won’t get rid of crazy.